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Ok.I'm an asshole. I haven't been back to this blog in God knows when. But, I believe in staying positive and ignoring the negative, or as my therapist says, "embrace change".I'm still dealing with my alcohol addiction and DXM use. (I would have marijuana on top of that if I could find any) I'm not bitter, I've talked to my doctors and I have high blood pressure along with anxiety,depression and hyperhidrosis, then some olfactory problems but i think that's going away.Otherwise i'm feeling pretty good and staying productive. I'll be 31 next month and that's getting me a little worried. I hate birthdays, haven't had a good one since i was a teenager. My art isn't suffering despite me missing personal deadlines, i have some personal time today so I think I'll be good. I think I should have never pushed myself to the limit. I should never stopped the medication I was on. Now, I hardly have energy, and I want to do things and I can't (embarassing sweat sessions).I just have to get back on it, enjoy the summer exercise and keep moving. No more suffering. No more feelings of defeat.